What do you do when you fall into a vat of Viagra, and your entire body turns hard as a rock? Start a league of tawdry superheroes, of course! The invincible Doc Mild teams up with walking cell phone Chip Martin, genius Math McCue, and the obnoxious voice of Pamela Mae Sweet to fight the All-Crazy terrorist network. But their employer, President Douche of the United States of Martica, is hiding a dangerous secret. Will the "Tight 50" hold off the evildoers long enought to discover the sinister plan? And just what is the Leader of the Free World Market carrying in that little black box?